What a journey this loss is. If I had to share one skill we develop as homicide survivors, it would be the ability to move forward and stand still simultaneously. This past Friday I had the opportunity to speak briefly on ambiguous loss. What a term! Loss with no conclusion. Simply put, we don't have answers to move forward with letting go of the case, but we have to move on and grieve the loss. It feels completely counterintuitive to the human mind.
To move forward, what does this journey look like? We do not need to know the how or why but we can strive toward the what now. Let's cover a couple of ways to cope without knowing....
Truthful surprises on this journey:
We will experience joy or relief
Our pain may get worse at times
We will experience ambushes of grief
Surviving these surprises:
Do not numb your pain
Do not chase justice or answers as the final healing
TAKE YOUR TIME
Coping with Ambiguous Loss
Acknowledge the Pain – It’s okay to grieve even without answers. Recognizing the loss—without needing closure—can help us move forward.
Find Meaning in the Uncertainty – Instead of focusing on what we don’t know, we can cherish the love and memories that remain.
Stay Connected – Seeking support from others who understand, whether through family, support groups, or counseling, helps ease the burden.
Hold Space for Hope & Healing – It’s possible to carry both hope and acceptance at the same time. We can honor our missing loved ones while also continuing to live fully.
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